It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his father told him. 

"Wouldn't you know it," Johnny fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up."

*Courtesy of the Web

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

  One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog." 

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.  She was about to turn off the  light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"  The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

"I can't  dear,"  she said.  "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."